In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
