Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
