i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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