is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
