how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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