This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
