lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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