i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize