So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
