I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
