Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
