Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
