glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
