I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
