Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
