Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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