They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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