Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
