I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
