You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
