I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
