you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
