do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
