i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
