You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
