Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
