dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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