my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
