Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
