Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
