I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
