This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
