well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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