It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
