butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
