does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
