Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
