Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
