How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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