last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
