I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
