??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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