How's work?
Spinning.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize