you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
