i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
this hospital has no fireball
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
