Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
