I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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