To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize