never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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