So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
