i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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