Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
