i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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