NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
