somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
