i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
