Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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