HIV tests are more positive than that guy
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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