with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
